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Not To People Like Us: Hidden Abuse In Upscale Marriages, by Susan Weitzman
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Review
"Weitzman provides excellent practical advice for these women to make choices that extricate them from abuse, and proposes a new language and better education regarding 'upscale violence' for the professionals who are likely to see it in their work."―Publishers Weekly"Written in a voice that is both compassionate and uncompromising, 'Not to People Like Us' is sure to become the definitive work on the topic of upscale domestic abuse."―Marcia Clark"This brave and powerful book marks the coming of age of our understanding of one of the most devastating social problems of our time. Written with rare compassion, this groundbreaking book will help the woman trapped in a corrosive relationship to think clearly and act bravely."―Dr. Judith Sills, author of Excess Baggage and Biting the Apple"'Spouse abuse,' 'battered wife syndrome,' 'domestic violence'--these familiar, featureless phrases roll off our tongues as if they were not really woman-torture, the most brutal treatment men can inflict on their partners, and thus on children. So inconceivable is the idea of violence in our finest households that it's hard even to imagine well-educated, successful men slapping, punching, biting, kicking, scalding, stabbing, and psychologically terrorizing their 'beloved' partners. And because these same men wield the power in our culture, it is no surprise that theirs is the commonest, yet least reported, crime in the nation. In this compelling, groundbreaking book, Dr. Susan Weitzman investigates this hate crime against women 'just like us'-and carefully shows us all the way back to safety and self-esteem."―Dalma Heyn, author of Marriage Shock and The Erotic Silence of the American Wife"This is a book that will change the current thinking on domestic abuse, and begin to equip social workers, psychologists and the courts to deal with this devastating problem more effectively. There is hope behind the poignant and desperate case histories Weitzman presents-this book itself is evidence of it. By ensuring that class concerns no longer obscure our recognition of violence against women, Weitzman has benefited women everywhere."―Sarah Buel"Dr. Weitzman's years of service to diverse populations of abused women shines through in this compelling study. Honest and hard-hitting without sensationalizing, the stories of hidden abuse and the paralyzing fear of victims is gripping, clearly portrayed and poignant. Most important, Dr. Weitzman has identified what it takes to break the cycles of abuse."―Joseph A. Walsh, Ph.D., Dean and Professor, Loyola University Chicago, School of Social Work
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About the Author
Susan Weitzman, Ph.D., is a practicing psychotherapist in Chicago, and regularly serves as an expert witness on upscale domestic violence and its impact. The author of the groundbreaking book "Not To People like Us": Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages, Dr.Weitzman has been the recipient of numerous awards including NASW's Illinois Social Worker of the Year. She is Co-Founder/President of The Weitzman Center, dedicated to educating the public and professionals about "upscale abuse."
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Basic Books (August 16, 2001)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780465090747
ISBN-13: 978-0465090747
ASIN: 0465090745
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
26 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#492,377 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
While the book states that intense verbal abuse is more commonly the form of abuse found in the upper middle class and above, it fails to address itself to verbal abuse at all. Very disappointing.
I am reading and it is excellentI have been in therapy.I did not realize how common these upscale abusive marriages are.My relationship with my soon to be former spouse is found here within the pages -- our relationship is textbook abuse.I am smart, with a law degree, licensed attorney.I didn't realize I was in an abusive relationship.This book lets me know that I am not alone and I am not stupid for trying to work on my relationship.I married the wrong person.I wish I had found this book before.After leaving my spouse, I have never been happier.Our bad relationship is NOT my fault.
If everyone thinks you have the perfect life - perfect look, perfect job, perfect home, perfect love life, perfect family and you know you are in an abusive relationship, and you are hiding it, denying it, and suffering silently to maintain 'the dream' and 'wear the masks' - this book is for you. I kept asking myself "How did I allow this to happen." This book opened my mind and allowed me to begin to forgive myself and stay gone from the 'perfect' lie.
Please read then pass this along to anyone whom you might think is trapped in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. The silence surrounding middle class, educated spousal abuse is astonishing and criminal.
There's a bunch of women who should be reading this book...if you feel that you are living someone else's life (your significant other) and not your own, if you find that you don't bother to have opinions anymore because they never count...this book is your ticket to paradise. Love it!! It helped me intensely! and has helped other women I've passed it on to.
abuse among the upper class is rarely discussed; as a victim, it was nice to know that i was not alone. ...a thoughtful read describing typical scenarios with specific examples. ways to get out of this situation are also suggested.
Highly recommended! After years of confusion, pain and inertia, this text puts words to the silent prison women of middle and upper class suffer. The description of the personal stories and guide to individual growth help victims of domestic abuse identify and guide them to become ready to speak out and gain freedom from emotionally destructive and life threatening relationships.
It is great to find people who are not ignoring domestic abuse in upscale marriages. I highly recommend this book
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